What MSA has taught me

I am afraid my last couple of posts were unusual for me. The fatigue from the trip wore me out to the point that I was not thinking clearly and not appreciating all that I have learned from MSA.

Things I have learned:

To appreciate the beauty of small things, from a smile to a flower to an insect or a slug.

That even when I am in the darkest places of my soul, a light still shines, even if dimly, until I am ready to open myself to the fullness of light again.

My humanity, my compassion for all living beings, to realize that everyone has a cross to bear and mine is no worse than anyone else’s.

That sleep is a necessity for me to live fully. My body recovers as it sleeps so that, even though it has taken a week, I am finally not as dizzy as I was last week.

Although my progression through MSA is a slower one than some others, I still experience the loss of function and can appreciate what I still have left.

That a connection with people is vital to my soul. I cannot live as a hermit, all alone, cooped in my house. I need friendships and I need to be a friend to others and meet their needs, even if not convenient for me at that time.

That getting angry at the disease is OK. That anger is not a bad thing so long as I express it appropriately and do not harm others with it.

That I do not have to get a mammogram or any other medical procedure if I do not want to.

That I must walk with my head looking straight and slightly down to see where my feet are stepping. If I want to look up, I must stop and place myself. If I want to look to the side, I must stop and turn my body and not just my head. That if there is something, like a truck mirror, is above the level of my eyes, I am going to smack it with my head, and that is OK for I need to look at my feet first.

That I need to provide more love and understanding to everyone I come in contact with, whether I like them or not.

That I do not have to spend time with those who are negative or who express negative emotions of racism or religious intolerance. Yes, I have to provide love and understanding, but I do not have to remain in their presence.

That it is OK to say no.

That it is OK to admit I cannot do something and ask for assistance.

That even a bad dive underwater is better than no dive at all.

That peace and happiness come from within me and not from someone else.

That life, no matter the hardships, is worth living and fighting for.