Dealing with frustration

I have come to realize that I no longer tolerate other people trying to coerce me into doing something I do not want to do. It is also frustrating for someone to try to make me feel guilty for my lack of desire to do something or go somewhere. I do not have time to waste on those things.

Yes, I still do things I don’t want to do if I think it benefits the other person in a meaningful way. That is the loving and caring thing to do. I try to live my life without causing harm to any other living being. I am human, however, and have been known to shout at someone when I am frustrated in some way.

In talking with my therapist I have learned that frustration leads to anger and that anger unexpressed leads to depression. Since I have a predisposition to depression, both hereditary, emotional, and physical, I have to watch out.

Last week I was especially frustrated and I needed to release it before I got any worse. I seem to be incapable of yelling, hitting things, etc. so I did the only thing I could think of, I yelled at my therapist by email. I felt sorry afterward and apologized and told him today that I was embarrassed to come back because I had yelled but he said he was glad I had done so. It seems like that may work for me and he does not mind receiving my frustrated, angry, fighting mad emails. After all, they are not directed at him, and, even if they were, it is important for him to know if he has somehow said or done something that has frustrated me.

Today I am much calmer and happier. I have less than two very, very busy weeks before out trip to Utila where all my stress and frustration will evaporate in the beautiful coral reef seas. I am focusing as much of my self as I can on maintaining that image in the front of my mind.

As the song says, Let it Be, and so I shall try.